It’s unromantic. It’s uncomfortable. It’s awkward. Those are just some of the thoughts that come to mind now that you’re thinking about asking your fiance to sign a prenuptial agreement right? Well, it doesn’t have to be like that.
As with most things in life, it’s all a state of mind. You can either see the glass as half full or half empty.
When my clients come in, I spend a great deal of time with them talking about not just their finances and what they want in the prenuptial agreement, but how they feel about each other and how they feel about the whole process of negotiating a prenup. I get the usual response that it’s unromantic, uncomfortable and awkward to bring it up.
“Well,” I tell them, “consider that almost half of all marriages in the United States end up in divorce. And a majority of those getting divorced cite arguments over money as the primary reason for the divorce.” I continue, “You should think of a prenup as hedging against those odds. If you and your fiance have come together to clearly talk about your goals and outlook about money before you enter into marriage, you essentially eliminate the primary reason for divorce.”
I also tell my clients that instead of starting out on a road where you don’t know or see the path, a prenuptial agreement lays out a clear path so you know what could happen because you’ve seen a map of it. You plan now, out of love, rather than letting hate guide your actions in case of divorce.
If you can see and accept this concept that a prenuptial agreement is a plan of love, then it can be romantic. It can be a comfortable talk. And it will be easy to talk about it. While you’re at it, dim the lights and have a glass of wine.