I wrote in the past about money and marriage where I cited a New York Times article. Recently for Valentine’s Day, the Wall Street Journal ran an article to discuss the financial questions to ask after saying “I will” and before saying “I do”.
The article recommends that couples learn about each other’s (1) assets and liabilities, (2) money history, (3) outlook on financial duties, and (4) organizational goals regarding money.
All these are great suggestions along with the New York Times article but what they don’t mention is that a prenuptial agreement is the perfect instrument to facilitate this talk. Whether a couples has money or don’t have money, a prenuptial agreement forces the couples to divulge their assets and liabilities and in the course of talking about finances, you will inevitably discuss each other’s financial history and each other’s outlook on how to handle money.
It’s unromantic. It’s uncomfortable. It’s awkward. Those are just some of the thoughts that come to mind now that you’re thinking about asking your fiance to sign a prenuptial agreement right? Well, it doesn’t have to be like that.
As with most things in life, it’s all a state of mind. You can either see the glass as half full or half empty.
When my clients come in, I spend a great deal of time with them talking about not just their finances and what they want in the prenuptial agreement, but how they feel about each other and how they feel about the whole process of negotiating a prenup. I get the usual response that it’s unromantic, uncomfortable and awkward to bring it up.
“Well,” I tell them, “consider that almost half of all marriages in the United States end up in divorce. And a majority of those getting divorced cite arguments over money as the primary reason for the divorce.” I continue, “You should think of a prenup as hedging against those odds. If you and your fiance have come together to clearly talk about your goals and outlook about money before you enter into marriage, you essentially eliminate the primary reason for divorce.”
I also tell my clients that instead of starting out on a road where you don’t know or see the path, a prenuptial agreement lays out a clear path so you know what could happen because you’ve seen a map of it. You plan now, out of love, rather than letting hate guide your actions in case of divorce.
If you can see and accept this concept that a prenuptial agreement is a plan of love, then it can be romantic. It can be a comfortable talk. And it will be easy to talk about it. While you’re at it, dim the lights and have a glass of wine.
A prenuptial agreement or prenup is a contract entered into by 2 people in anticipation of marriage and before marriage. A postnuptial agreement is an agreement or contract entered into by people who are already married.
Many courts around the country have ruled that a contract entered into after marriage is not as strong as a contract entered into before marriage. Courts are very skeptical when it comes to postnuptial agreements because there is inherently a coercive factor in the agreement.
The typical scenario that leads up to a postnuptial agreement is when one spouse wants to keep the marriage going while the other spouse doesn’t. The unwilling spouse draws up a postnuptial agreement for the willing spouse to sign and makes it a condition of staying married. The spouse signs it hoping to save the marriage enough though the terms of the agreement is against his/her interest. This is the very definition of being coerced. If a contract being entered into is not absolutely and entirely voluntary, without any form or coercion, then it cannot be valid.
In short, no. No prenuptial agreement or any contract for that matter is ironclad. Ironclad is a word that people throw around in movies or in television because it adds drama and comes off very well on screen. In real life, there aren’t many things that are certain or guaranteed. In these United States of [...]
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Part of planning a prenuptial agreement is deciding, if not in writing at least orally, how expenses and bills should be paid. There are many variations which I will list and then I will list the one I favor the most and why I think it helps to foster a healthy marriage.
One spouse pays it [...]
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You’re in your twenties or early thirties and you’re about to get married. The thought of getting a prenuptial agreement crosses your mind because you’ve heard that everyone who gets married should have a prenup. However, you quickly dismiss it because neither you or your fiance have much money to speak of. So what’s the [...]
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I was recently contacted by a woman who wanted me to certify that a prenuptial agreement that she filled out and printed from the internet contained all the information that would make it valid. The prenuptial agreement, aside from the fact that it was generic and from the internet, was only 2 pages long. I [...]
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The New York Times recently ran an article about the 4 money talks to have before you commit in a lifelong relationship. Specifically they suggest that you talk about (1) your financial ancestry, (2) your credit history, (3) control over money, and (4) affluence and financial goals.
These 4 things (and more) is what I discuss [...]
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Ideally, all couples looking to get married should at least engage in the process of getting a prenuptial agreement. As I’ve said before, negotiating a prenuptial agreement provides a very valuable opportunity for couples to discuss their mutual financial situations, their outlook on finances and their future goals.
I’m often surprised when I do estate planning [...]
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There are not a lot of things you can’t include in a prenuptial agreement. One of those things I talked about in previous posts were provisions regarding children. Another one are provisions regarding sex during the marriage.
I have had requests to include provisions dealing with a sex schedule for the couple. In those cases, I [...]
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